It’s the beginning of June, school is out, and our summer is in full swing – at least it should be. I’m 14 weeks pregnant with my fourth child. My three kids and husband are busy with their interests this summer and we are moving into a new house in a few short weeks. Of course my mind is swirling with projects, to-do lists, and expectations for how this next month should play out, but I am also quite aware that my energy is not where I wish it would be. My back isn’t quite as strong and resilient as I would like. It feels like it is in a permanent state of strain. I’m experiencing lingering nausea & gagging, and I fall asleep on the couch instantly any time after 2 p.m. My energy to do physical tasks exists in a window between 8 a.m. – 12 p.m, so I can only focus on one physical task each day. That means one day it’s dishes, one day it’s groceries, the next day it’s clearing one closet.
I think anyone in my situation would be tempted to feel guilt and frustration that I am just not getting much done. I know in the past I have been particularly hard on myself, but this time I will choose differently. Instead of choosing feelings and thoughts that don’t serve me (guilt, shame, self-pity), I instead choose to accept where I am now and treat myself with love and kindness. Instead of indulging in negative self-talk and viewing myself as lazy, worthless and useless, I choose to be gentle, loving and kind. I focus on what is really important in life: health, love, relationships, my well-being. If I were to focus on the way my house looks (which I admit is a summertime disaster!) I wouldn’t be choosing myself, I would be choosing to keep up an appearance of the way I want my life to look on the outside (to other people). If you refer to my previous list of what I want to focus on, “other people’s opinions” isn’t one of them.
But of course, even when we work to release judgement, those ugly thoughts will creep in from time to time. So what do we do about it?
Breathe. When I start to feel bad, I use it as reminder to stop and breathe. Take a deep belly breath and pause for half a second before releasing. Feel all that oxygen reaching your brain. It’s pretty amazing how much oxygen we restrict when we are thinking negative thoughts and forgetting to breathe.
Notice. Doesn’t that deep breath feel great? You feel lighter and more clear. Notice that your negative thought is just a thought and you can reach for a different thought.
Pivot. Think of something else for a moment. The sunshine, the grass, your food, the softness of your pillow, the feeling of security being at home, or wherever you are. Take a moment to ground yourself and get out of your head.
Reframe. Whatever you are worried about is nonexistent. Worry is imaginary. The long list of to-do’s you are stressing about will get done with ease. This season will pass. Everything will happen in good time. All is well.
Acceptance is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It’s about loving yourself so much that you don’t care what other people think and you don’t even care what expectations you had before this moment. You are just IN the moment, which is where ease, flow, creativity, and love blossom. Acceptance leads to alignment with who you really are, and only good can come from that.
Are you feeling aligned and accepting today? Is accepting yourself difficult for you? If so, click here to check out my coaching packages. We can dive into what is holding you back and discover what parts of your true self are hiding in the shadows. You deserve to your life authentically and joyfully. Much love!